Damn It Rains A Lot Here. Glad I Like Reading in Bed.

It's almost not April anymore, and my homework for the month is nearly done. Given the enormous amounts of time I was unable (unwillingly) to go outside because the weather was bat-shit crazy, I would have expected to have read a lot more. But I didn't. Instead I read these books, and they were all entertaining, smart, and fun. Enjoy. (The red title is the Pick of the Month!)

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home by Rhoda Janzen is absolutely amazing. I want Rhoda Janzen to quit whatever she is doing right now and go write more books! After her husband of 15years leaves her for a guy named Bob that he met on gay.com, and she is severely injured in a car accident, Janzen returns home to her Mennonite parents for physical and emotional recuperation. In telling the story of her mid-life repair, she retraces her upbringing in the conservative Mennonite religion (they're the ones that wear the little white doily-ish hats) and her recounting is both hilarious and wise. Janzen, who left the Mennonites to pursue academia, nonetheless has a warm, funny story to tell about how her parents chose to raise her, how the church's strict beliefs shaped her strengths, and how she ultimately found comfort in the traditions and community of Mennonites as she rebuilds her life (i..e begins dating: "In my opinion sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants." Amen, Sister Rhoda.) In the end, I appreciated--admired, really--Janzen's ability to love her family and respect their faith while choosing another path.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler is as funny as the previous book, but in an entirely different way. This is one of those books I picked up at Goodwill, and then decided to read because Mennonite in a Little Black Dress was so funny and I needed another funny book as a follow-up and I was on Spring Break and therefore, unable/willing to read anything academic or erudite. And Handler is funny. She's also lewd and ridiculous, politically incorrect and occasionally disgusting, and if she's really had all the one-night stands she writes about in this book, then ew. Nevertheless, super funny if you like reading about other people's regrettable sexual exploits, which I do. Read it if you're in a funk and need to feel better about yourself. I felt like a virgin again by the time I was done with it.

I grabbed Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, at the airport after my initial dose of Handler's deliciously gross humor. Unbeknownst to me, this book turned out to be the perfect choice, once I discovered that I was seated next to hairy-armed, bulgy-eyed man reading Anger Management for Dummies who looked like the Phillip Seymour Hoffman character from the Todd Solodnz movie Happiness (which, if you haven't seen, do NOT go watch it and then call me up and me how sick and disgusting it is and break off being friends with me. I repeat: I did NOT recommend this movie).  In addition to hogging our mutual armrest and intruding into my personal no-fly zone for the entire trip, Anger Management Man also indulged his tic of rubbing his dry palms together every 2-3 minutes. During snack time, he funneled his bag of treats into his mouth from above, spilling a portion down his shirt, and then dove for the crumbs, rustling around between his manboobs until he retrieved a half a pretzel and a fuzz-covered peanut. I mentally rehearsed my Emergency List of Ways This Could Be Worse:  I could have a horrible facial deformity. I could be dirt poor. I could have a bunch of children. Thankfully, I have none of these, but I do have Chelsea Handler, and I thank her.

The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer has been reviewed a great deal lately, in People and Entertainment Weekly,among other sources, so there's a good chance you've heard the buzz. The gist is this: a new, funky drama teacher arrives in Stellar Plains, and chooses the Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes as the high school's performance. In the play, the women of Greece band together to bring an end to war by refusing to have sex with their men until peace is attained. In Stellar Plains, the production of the play has a mysterious effect on the town's residents: the popular, married high school English teacher couple finds their intimacy disrupted; the heavy, long-married guidance counselor stands up to her thoughtless husband, and even the teenage girls are denying sex to their bewildered boyfriends. The events lead them all to examine themselves and their relationships with one another; a fun, smart book.

 Boys and Girls Like You and Me by Aryn Kyle.

Bunches of people won't read poetry because it makes them a) think of black berets and b) feel dumb. Also, a lot of poetry seems pretentious and full of itself, which it is, and why waste time complicating your life reading it when you can shut the door and spend 10 minutes taking a happy nap with Penthouse Forum instead? Short stories can seem a bit like poems, only longer, and they have characters and dialogue and sex scenes. The best short stories showcase the best a language has to offer: original word combinations, humor, subtlety, and cleverness. Aryn Kyle's collection joins my list of favorite short stories for eactly these reasons.

Muscle: Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder by Samuel Wilson Fussell is mentioned on my other blog because I 've been doing a lot of weight-lifting and strength-training as I prep for a summer of triathlons, and in doing so, have become fascinated by the way bodies change in different ways in response to exercise. Fussell, an Oxford-educated writer, decided to pursue body-building in the late 80s after being harrassed repeatedly on the streets of New York City. At 6'4" and 170 pounds, he's a stickly target. Over the next two years, he progresses from this waifishness to competitive body-building stature, gaining over 80 pounds, and offers an insider's view of the steroid-and-body-oil fueled gyms of the 80s.

Modern Ranch Living by Mark Jude Poirier is this month's missing-person novel. A teenage Sharpie-huffing loser named Petey Vaccarino disappears one summer from a Phoenix suburb, but the real focus of the story is on two characters with whom he's loosely connected: his neighbor Merv, a 30-year-old Splash World Water Park employee who still lives at home with his mother, and Kendra Lumm, a 16-year-old weightlifter who occasionally slept with the missing boy. Both of these characters are transformed by the events of this summer, but only in part due to Petey's disappearance, and their stories are the catalyst for a funny, insightful examination of what it means to develop, change, and struggle to discover what our potential is and how to reach it. I loved reading this book--Kendra is tough, funny, and grammar-challenged; her interactions with her mother, her wimpy older brother, her classmates, and the therapist she is forced to see results in some of the wittiest, most original dialogue I've read.

Why Manners Matter: The Case for Civilized Behavior in a Barbarous World by Luncinda Holdforth is a short, provocative argument in favor of manners--voluntary social agreements to adhere to certain rules of behavior. A brief summary of her main arguments:  Manners matter because 1) we are social animals with habitat to protect; 2) they are more important than laws because they are less invasive and better than social confusion; 3) they nurture equality; 4) order matters for freedom; 5) rudeness won't make us authentic; manners aren't just for right-wing bigots; manners advance social progress; 6) McDonald's doesn't own matters (you definitely have to read this chapter to get what her point is here); and 7) they give us dignity by improving communication, preventing premature intimacy, unlocking our humanity and making life beautiful. Teachers and parents take note.

I Knew a Woman by Cortney Davis is a nurse practioner's account of working with women over the course of her career and what she has learned about women's bodies as a result. Davis follows the cases of four clients--a pregnant teenager, a drug-addicted mother, a post-menopausal woman with cancer, and a thirty-something woman whose past, when uncovered, reveals the reason behind her sexual problems. Following each woman's story is sort of like watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy or House--a medical drama unfolds gradually and suspensely, and we learn something about medicine in the process. Davis is a gifted writer who has written books of poetry, and her talent for prose makes this a fascinating and thoughtful read.

March Reads

YAY Books! I had the best reading month--inspiring advice, fun novels, and just a great mix of quirk and kink. I've highlighted the one book I'd most recommend once again. As always, I encourage you to support your locally owned bookstores and public libraries!

Seeing Me Naked by Liza Palmer is a quick read about Elisabeth Page, a pastry chef in Los Angeles who has long lived in the shadow of her Pulitzer-Prize-winning father, author Ben Page, and in the comfortable, familiar arms of Will, her longtime boyfriend. When she meets Daniel Sullivan, her options for the future suddenly change, she creeps out of the shadow of her wealthy, notorious family to find a life waiting for her that is much different than the one she expected. I like this kind of smart, sassy, upbeat chick lit.

The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan uses a gimmick to tell the story: each page is an entry in a dictionary, with a brief vignette or observation instead of a definition. All of these short entries add up to a portrait of a relationship between members of an unnamed couple. I love Levithan's writing--poetic, spare, subtle, and original. Two quotes from the book that I appreciated: 1) "Fuck you for cheating on me. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. Fuck you. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives."  2) "The key to a successful relationship isn't just in the words, it's in the choice of punctuation. When you're in love with someone, a well-placed question mark can be the difference between bliss and disaster, and a deeply respected period or a cleverly inserted ellipsis can prevent all kinds of exclamations." (Try it. He's right.)

Tiger, Tiger by Margaux Fragoso. I read this book so you that don't have to. Seriously, this is an 11 on the ick-factor scale, and I read it only because reviews in Oprah and Entertainment Weekly led me astray; I had heard that it would be controversial; and I want to be able to participate in the dialogue of that controversy from a knowledgeable standpoint. Not sure I'm right about that. The gist is this: Fragoso was sexually abused from the time she was 7 until the age of 22 by a man 44 years her senior, and she recounts in detail how the relationship between her and "Peter," her abuser developed as she and her mentally ill mother spent more and more time at Peter's home, in scenarios that will remind readers of the f***ed mess described by Augusten Burroughs in his memoir Running With Scissors (only not at ALL funny). She includes the details of their sexual encounters and I cannot stress enough how disturbing this is; although her prose is skillful and the storytelling compelling, I can't help but feel a more nuanced writer (and one who wanted to warn us of the danger in the world, rather than share it with us) would have been able to relay the sheer horror of these events without giving us an up-close-and-personal view of her tormentor's scrotum. Seriously. Yuck.

Nothing by Janne Teller is a short young adult novel with long-lasting impact. Like Lord of the Flies, it offers a glimpse at the powerful and destructive nature of peers on one another, especially when those peers are children acting unregulated by experience, wisdom, and adutl guidance. In this story, a student announces to his classmates that nothing means anything, and proceeds to stop attending school and hang out in a tree instead. The other students, eager to prove him wrong, beging accumulating a mass of items that are meaningful to them by challenging each other to relinquish their most prized possessions. Their challenges escalate to the point of violence, and yet the question continues to haunt them--does anything mean anything? And if so, what? Absolutely one of the most powerful YA novels I've ever read. 

Adios, Nirvana by Conrad

Seattle writers have made a rich contribution to the YA literature scence, and this new novel is no exception. Set in West Seattle, it is the story of Jonathan, who has recently lost his twin brother in an accident. Failing school and slacking just about everywhere else, Jonathan's only real pleasures are writing and music, both of which he excels at. His high school prinicpal gives him a chance to make up his missing credits by collaborating with a dying WWII vet on the creation of his memoir. That part of the story fell apart a little at the end, but the voice, the teen writer/musician narrator, and the presence of Eddie Vedder more than redeem this excellent story.


Smooth: Erotic Stories for Women edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
There's such a thing as snow porn. Who knew?


Don't You Forget about Me by Jancee Dunn

Lillian Curtis returns to her hometown after her husband announces he wants a divorce, and finds herself reconnecting with old friends--including her gorgeous ex-boyfriend--as they prepare for their twentieth class reunion. I adored this book for lots of reasons--a narrator who was in pain without wallowing, the connection to the late 80's, and especially Lillian's boss, a 70-something ex-starlet who hosts a TV talk show and lives life to the fullest. Very sweet and the writing was great, thanks to Jancee Dunn's years and experience--including dozens of cover stories for Rolling Stone. Read it if you liked Big Love and Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn (no relation, as far as I know).

The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander

Easily one of the most inspiring books I've read, the art of possibility offers guidelines for reframing our thinking to make room for possibilities that we might not have contemplated, such as remembering that "it's all invented" and we have the power to reimagine ourselves and our lives and make those imaginings a reality. In terms of offering new ideas and supporting anecdotes about how to make your work, interpersonal connections, and personal goals a reality, this is a powerful, uplifting book.

Three Stages of Amazement by Carol Edgarian

Lena and Charlie find their marriage, already made fragile by the death of their newborn twin, strained even further by a cross-country move and Charlie's tenuous grasp on a business deal. Though the writing was gorgeous, I thought this story was a real downer. So unfair to dismiss a well-crafted piece of contemporary literature this way, when it's really and admirable piece of writing, but I wasn't really in the mood for a marriage-on-the-rocks story, no matter how beautifully spun. I enjoyed both The Heights by Peter Hedges (less financial talk, more sex and tension--also some mean girl action) and The Inheritances by Jonathan Dee (still about rich people, but they're less whiny) more.

Drinking Closer to Home by Jessica Anya Blau

Every now and then, I stumble upon a book that I begin reading and have to carry with me everywhere I go in order to sneak pages while I wait in line, get stuck in traffic, or blow my nose between sets at the gym. This month, this was that book. For starters, I love funny stories wherein big, dysfunctional families with scads of adult siblings and their lovers, husbands, children, and so forth gather  a la Big Chill to air their memories and grievances, and this is definitely one of those stories. Anna, Portia, and their brother Emery are summoned home when their mother, Louise, finally has the heart attack she's been smoking towards for their entire lives. Louise and her husband, Buzzy, raised their children in a filthy, pot-smoke-filled home in Santa Barbara in the 70s, and it is between then and now that we rotate, gaining a thorough and hilarious insight into the history of the family and its bizarre mechanisms. Author Jessica Blau freely admits to basing the characters on her own parents and siblings, and an interview with family members at the end of the book adds an additional, entertaining dimension to this novel. Read it.