Happy International Quirkyalone Day!

It took me almost 40 years to figure it out and own it, but I am a loner. My parents could probably have attested to this fact long ago, when, not content to simply have my own room, I rigged a hanging flashlight from the clothes rod and fashioned an even more secluded space to read The Boxcar Children in my closet.

And now I'm all grown up and have a house and I STILL do this--squirrel away in some nook and do my own thing (usually sew or paint), praying that no one will bother me at least until this episode of Big Love is over and then I can be social in a time and place that I've already predesignated and set aside for that purpose. 7:30-7:45 p.m.: Make Small Talk With Roommates. Act Interested.

I am a loner who doesn't live alone or work alone or even work out alone. I have three roommates; I work in a high school with 1000 kids and a hundred co-workers; I exercise amid the masses. Regardless, I am a consummate loner, living by myself inside my own head, moving among you, enduring you and silently judging you (just kidding, that's from Magnolia).

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics by Sasha Cagen pretty much sums up the highlights of alonedom: the belief that life is amazing and fun without a mate, and that not having a partner isn't a sign that one has failed to accomplish one thing but chosen to do another. Cagen carefully defines quirkyalone, pointing out the different between those who are merely weird and lonely from those who are social and actively pursue a solitudinous (pretty sure that's not a word) existance punctuated by forays into civilization for entertainment and comfort. She lists famous folks who prefer to live alone, chronicles the quirkyalones through history, discusses the complicated business of quirkyalones, love, and partnerships, and most of all, offers a documentation of all that is right with pursuing a life of sassy singlehood.

It's Valentine's Day, and for an extraordinary number of us, it means not candlelights and chocolates, but another episode of Mad Men, some quality sofa time with the dog, and a Lean Cuisine. Would I rather have a foot massage and a bouquet? Maybe. But it doesn't have to happen today. I have Jon Hamm, after all, and Frida, and Cagen's book full of insight and humor. I'm not alone at all.