Happy International Quirkyalone Day!

It took me almost 40 years to figure it out and own it, but I am a loner. My parents could probably have attested to this fact long ago, when, not content to simply have my own room, I rigged a hanging flashlight from the clothes rod and fashioned an even more secluded space to read The Boxcar Children in my closet.

And now I'm all grown up and have a house and I STILL do this--squirrel away in some nook and do my own thing (usually sew or paint), praying that no one will bother me at least until this episode of Big Love is over and then I can be social in a time and place that I've already predesignated and set aside for that purpose. 7:30-7:45 p.m.: Make Small Talk With Roommates. Act Interested.

I am a loner who doesn't live alone or work alone or even work out alone. I have three roommates; I work in a high school with 1000 kids and a hundred co-workers; I exercise amid the masses. Regardless, I am a consummate loner, living by myself inside my own head, moving among you, enduring you and silently judging you (just kidding, that's from Magnolia).

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics by Sasha Cagen pretty much sums up the highlights of alonedom: the belief that life is amazing and fun without a mate, and that not having a partner isn't a sign that one has failed to accomplish one thing but chosen to do another. Cagen carefully defines quirkyalone, pointing out the different between those who are merely weird and lonely from those who are social and actively pursue a solitudinous (pretty sure that's not a word) existance punctuated by forays into civilization for entertainment and comfort. She lists famous folks who prefer to live alone, chronicles the quirkyalones through history, discusses the complicated business of quirkyalones, love, and partnerships, and most of all, offers a documentation of all that is right with pursuing a life of sassy singlehood.

It's Valentine's Day, and for an extraordinary number of us, it means not candlelights and chocolates, but another episode of Mad Men, some quality sofa time with the dog, and a Lean Cuisine. Would I rather have a foot massage and a bouquet? Maybe. But it doesn't have to happen today. I have Jon Hamm, after all, and Frida, and Cagen's book full of insight and humor. I'm not alone at all.

January 2011 Reads

My New Year's Goal, to laugh hard every day, was accompanied this year by a renewed commitment to read more, and to read more stuff that I sincerely want to press into the hands of my reading acquaintances. No more slogging through something just because I paid money for it--I'm determined to make better selections and to quit reading when something bogs me down, so that I can create a list of truly awesome recommendations. Here's what I read January 1-31st, 2011.

For those of you who have lives filled with romance and adventure and unlike this narrator, don't have piles of time laying around in which to read 13 books a month, I have conveniently highlighted in red the title of the one book that you must absolutely read this month. The others are essential, too.

The Last Child by John Hart is a quality suspense story about a teenager who is determined to solve his sister's mysterious disappearance on his own. This story is multi-layered, with well-developed subplots, dynamic, complex characters, and a plot that steers away from police-procedural formula.

The Neighbors are Watching by Debra Ginsberg is another fantastic suspense story, this time set in Del Mar, California, a bedroom community of San Diego, during a giant wildfire. A pregnant teen has run away to live with the father she's never met, and her sudden appearance (and subsequent disappearance) wreak havoc on a small, tidy neighborhood which, it turns out, is full of seemingly upstanding citizens who are harboring a few nasty secrets of their own.

Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn tells the story of Holly Frick, recently thrust into an unwanted singlehood after her husband leaves her, and the recipient of confessions and complaints by practically everyone, including her best friend, who divulges the secrets of her own infidelity. Holly's not looking for love, just happiness, and her quest leads her to some unique and hilarious conclusions. I loved that this story of a smart, funny single didn't rely on her finding the perfect guy and/or becoming a mother in order to be happy--a testament to those of us quirkyalones who are building different lives. Dunn's writing, especially the dialogue, is the kind I want to read aloud to people just because it's so spot-on, so funny, and so very, very true.

The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich is the basis for The Social Network, and is apparently, only ONE side of the contentious relationship between Mark Zuckerberg and his Harvard classmates who co-conceived of (depending on who you ask) Facebook. It's a quick read, and worth a few hours just so you get the background for the movie. I'm on the look-out for a more well-rounded version of events.

A Visit from the Good Squad by Jennifer Egan has appeared on practically every best-of-2010 list I've encountered, and with good reason. Although not told in a traditional format (one chapter is narrated in PowerPoint slides), the multiple viewpoints and non-linear travel through the characters' lives only deepen and enrich this story, which revolves around an assortment of people associated with and affected by a charismatic music producer--including his high school bandmates, his lovers, and many others. I can't describe it adequately. I also couldn't stop reading it.

Second Wind by Cami Ostman is the non-fiction account of Ostman's journey around the world, completing a marathon on every continent, which is awesome in about a billion ways PLUS she lives in Bellingham and I know her. Her book is funny, thoughtful, and inspiring, and it will make you believe in your own ability to recreate your life and savor your talents, gifts, and challenges.

Racing for Recovery is the one book I read this month that didn't really excite me. I'm training for triathlons, so I'm looking for narratives and memoirs about other triathletes--there aren't many out there--and this is one I found. A drug addict cleans up his life and becomes an ironman. The story's inspiring, the writing isn't.

The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman is amazingly smart without being pretentious or difficult to read. Interrelated stories of characters affected by their employment or readership of an English-language, old-school newspaper in Rome tell the story of the paper's rise and fall, which sounds really dry, but it's not. Each story is a tiny, detailed, absorbing world rich with weird characters and unexpected plot twists.

Annabel by Kathleen Winter tells the story of a baby born with both male and female genitalia to a family in rural Nova Scotia. His parents decide to raise him as a boy named Wayne and keep the truth about his anatomy secret--even from him. But secrets--their keeping and their discovery--are what make stories worth reading, and this one is no exception. But it isn't the secrecy that makes the novel so phenomenal, it's the characters and the unexpected way they respond to Wayne and the challenges that accompany his growing up. NOT a "problem novel," this is a rich portrait of isolated people attempting to deal with an unimaginable anomaly in an otherwise remote and ordinary place. Gorgeous writing, likeable characters, an unusual premise--a must-read.

Matched by Allie Condie is the only young adult book I read this month, but it was awesome. The story will remind some people of The Giver by Lois Lowry, as it takes places in the future, in a society where government manipulation allows everyone to be equal, and regulations manage everything to when and what is eaten to your job, life partner, and clothing. Cassia, at 16, is about to be "matched," or assigned her life partner. A special ceremony will reveal the mate selected for her by the government agency that studies and selects the best fit. When she attends her Match ceremony, Cassia is thrilled discover that her best friend, Xander, has been chosen as her mate. But when she reviews the data card later, she sees, for a brief instant, another image--of another boy. Curious, she begins investigating, and discovers that a technical glitch has allowed her to see something no one else has ever been allowed to see--an alternative. Cassia's exploration in options is dangerous for her and for her society, but once the possibility becomes available, it's impossible to resist. Part love story, part warning, Matched is a terrific read--and not just for teens.

One Day by David Nicholls revisits Emma and Dexter yearly on the day they originally met in college and had a one-night stand. Following their lives and intersections for twenty years, we watch as their friendship grows and changes as each pursues career goals and love interests. The affection they share is what makes the story so likeable, and I found myself pleading with them to get together once and for all through the whole book. More than just a rom-com, this story delves a little deeper into the characters' lives, motivations, mistakes, and disappointments. A younger Hugh Grant might have been cast as Dexter, but in this one (due out July 8, 2011) it's going to be Jim Sturgess alongside Anne Hathaway. I expect it to rock.

Half a Life by Darin Strauss. As a teenager, Darin Strauss struck a classmate riding her bike while out driving, killing her. Although the death was ruled an accident, that doesn't stop it from haunting him throughout his adult life, his own success as a writer continually reminding him of the life cut short by the accident. I expected this book to make me weep, but it never strays into weepy, maudlin territory, nor does Strauss plead with us to feel his sorrow and guilt about the accident. A bad thing happened, it changed a young man's life and the lives of the family members of the young woman killed, and this story shows what that was like. Strauss's story is simply and skillfully told, a meditation on mortality and chance.

The Fates Will Find Their Way by Hannah Pittard. Well this is it--the one book I read this month that I would recommend you read if you have time for no others. And yes, it's a missing persons story (I have a weakness for those). Nora Lindell goes missing in high school, and the story follows the teenage boys who knew and admired her as they carry on with their lives, all of them imagining what might have happened to their classmate. The framework--missing girls, those she left behind--isn't what makes it remarkable. The narration however, is unique without drawing attention to itself; one of the boys--unidentified--speaks in an omniscient, plural first person that offers a collection view of Nora, her family, the neighborhood, and the time period. Perhaps most significant are the carefully crafted possible scenarios presented as explanations for what happened to Nora. I can't really say anymore...you'll just have to read it.

And now it is February. Stay tuned.

Every Freaking Book I Read in 2010, Part One

If the title is highlighted in red, that means "Hey people, this is one of my top recommendations!" I didn't even read 50 books in 2010, and that's probably because I got really into sewing, and that shit is like crack.

JANUARY-JULY (ish) 2010
Ishiguro, Kazuo. Never Let Me Go. (Fiction)
An eerie, creepy novel in which the horror behind the set-up unfolds so subtly you feel almost as though you’ve been tricked into reading a story you never would have chosen. Children being raised in a boarding school-cum-orphanage develop intense relationships as they mature and discover the true reasons why they are living where and how they are.

Schusterman, Neal. Unwind. (Young Adult Fiction)
In a futuristic America, abortion is no longer legal, but parents can choose to have their children “unwound” when they turn 13—basically, have them sent to harvesting centers, where they’ll gradually be parted out.Three teens--one who's been created specifically as a donation, one who's disappointed his parents, and a third who has failed to develop her talents in a foster home--escape from their fate and try to survive on the run from the authorities.

Grodstein, Lauren. A Friend of the Family. (Fiction)
Excruciating, but well-written and un-put-downable. A father tries to stop his 20-year-old son from dating an older woman with a very dark secret in her past.

Best Sex Writing 2010.(Mostly Fiction)
Meh.

Benway, Robin. Audrey, Wait! (Young Adult Fiction)
Very funny YA about a girl who is made famous when her ex-boyfriend writes a song about her that becomes a hit. Perfect for Meg Cabot fans.

Ferris, Joshua. The Unnamed. (Fiction)
A man suffers from an unnamed, unexplained disorder that compels him to walk aimlessly for hours, even days, at a time. OK, so a book about a guy walking endlessly sounds boring, but in Ferris's story, it is a fascinating memoir for our times--who are we? We are we going? And most importantly, why? Unique and smart. One of my favorite novels of the year.

Mitchell, Mary. Americans in Space. (Fiction)
Kind of lame story about a screwed up high school counselor. I liked the writing, but not the characters or the story.

Pierson, DC. The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To. (Fiction)
One teen befriends another, and the two embark on a wacky adventure to write a comic book or something. Funny for awhile, then I realized I don’t really like wacky that much.

Hubbard, Jennifer. The Secret Year. (Young Adult Fiction)
A teenage boy mourns the death of the girl with whom he had a secret relationship.

Johnson, Marilyn. This Book is Overdue! (Non-Fiction)
A peek into the lives of librarians. Some good stuff, but way too much about librarians in cyberspace and virtual lives. I could write better, but I probably won’t.

Cross, David. I Drink for a Reason. (Non-Fiction Humorous Essays)
The funniest book I read all year. David Cross is a genius. There are essays in here I will quote for years, even if I don’t drink anymore. (And actually, the essays are about pop and political culture, not about drinking, anyway). David Cross=David Sedaris+Bill Maher.

Knowles, Jo. Jumping Off Swings. (YA Fiction)
Another teen pregnancy story. Who cares. But then again, at least it's not about vampires.

Stead, Rebecca. When You Reach Me. (YA Fiction)
Cool story about a girl receiving mysterious messages. A good recommendation for readers who liked I Am the Messenger.

Welch. The Kids are All Right. (Non-Fiction/Memoir)
(Not the basis for the movie of the same title).
Four teens are orphaned and divided up among family friends and relatives, where each struggles to find happiness and identity before they are reunited. Very good—good recommendation for anyone who liked A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers.

Udall, Brady. The Lonely Polygamist. (Fiction)
I loved this novel about a polygamist with four wives and 28 children who finds himself in moral turmoil when he is attracted to another woman and caught in the midst of the complications in his own enormous family. Read this if you like reading, and also if you like Big Love.

Halpern, Justin. Shit My Dad Says. (Humor)
A collection of the hilarious and usually profane remarks made by Halpern’s dad.

Levithan, David. Will Grayson, Will Grayson. (YA Fiction)
A gay teen named Will Grayson meets another boy with the same name, and their lives become intertwined. Good reading—Levithan is one of my favorite YA authors, and he does a really good job with LGBTQ lit.

The Lighter Side of Life and Death. (YA Fiction)
A guy gets involved (read: has sex with) a much older girl. Some other stuff happens, but I’ve forgotten, so I’ll file this one under “teen drama/romance” and leave it at that.

Mulgrew, Jason. Everything is Wrong With Me.
Humorous essays. I keep wanting every humorist I read to be David Sedaris, and they’re not, but they’re still funny, just not as funny, which sounds like a condemnation, which it’s not.

Almond, Steve. Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life. (Non-Fiction)
Steve Almond can write anything and I’ll read it. His fiction is amazing, his non-fiction is amazing, and this book was funny and insightful, just like everything he writes. But then again, I think anyone who defends their love of Styx is pretty incredible. Not just for music lovers or survivors of the 80s, this is a manifesto for lovers of music who may have felt previously that their tastes were shameful. No more. Whatever your audiological kinks, you’ll appreciate Almond’s acute observations about music.

Green, George Dawes. Ravens. (Fiction)Gripping suspense story about a couple of In Cold Blood-like hoodlums who discover a family has won the state lottery before it hits the media and then hold the family hostage to extort their winnings. How the money affects the individual family members, and how the bumbling bad guys terrorize the family is scary, but it doesn't make me want to win the lottery any less.

McNally, John. After the Workshop. (Fiction)A publicist who has the thankless job of escorting visiting authors to their venues is in big trouble when one of them goes missing. McNally is funny and suspenseful, and so far, I’ve enjoyed everything he’s written. This one will have special appeal for writers and anyone involved in the publishing world or the world of writers’ workshops.

Young-Stone, Michele. Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors. (Fiction)A young woman struck twice by lightning meets another lightning strike survivor and the two begin a relationship to figure out the mysterious connection between them. I liked this book; I wish I could remember the details.

The Late, Lamented Molly Marx. (Fiction)After she is mysteriously killed, Molly Marx continues to be cognizant of the living world, and watches as investigators and friends try to solve the mystery of her death. A light, funny, chick-lit mystery that took me too long to read.

Nielsen, Susin. Word Nerd. (Fiction)
Scrabble-lovers, rejoice! This is a fun YA read about Ambrose, a self-described nerd, who moves regularly with his mother. At their latest home, he begins pestering Cosmo, the adult son of the Greek neighbors. Cosmo’s been in trouble with the law, and Ambrose hangs out with him against his mother’s orders, eventually attending a local Scrabble club and becoming a favorite among the other players. His participation and his secrecy have consequences, however, that no one could have predicted. I LOVED this book—it reminded me of some of the other awesome YA/tween books like The Giver, Holes, anything by E.L. Konigsburg (The View from Saturday, etc.).

Home Sweet Home

The weather has left me trapped inside my house, unable--or at least unwilling--to spend much time saturating myself in rainwater (curly hair+precip=disaster), so I've been appreciating interiors. Occasionally my truck, often my office/library, but mostly my house. Freshly outfitted with a hand-me-over lava lamp from my dad, my bedroom (formerly the Sunset View room, now the Housepital-Blocks-My-View Room) is the perfect reading location.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to win the lottery soon, because I keep having these fantasies about improvements I'd like to make to the NapCastle. Before you go all ballistic and "you just built that house TWO YEARS ago!" on me, remember the Anne Frank Room, and recall that it is semi-inhabitable, eagerly awaiting the large influx of cash that will transform it into the Coolest Little Apartment Ever. If there's any chance that you think a 200-square-foot space can't be an entire residence, you need to go two places: 1) http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ and 2) your local bookstore to purchase the book creater by the authors of the AT blog: Apartment Therapy's Big Book of Small, Cool Spaces.

Realizing the dream of home ownership has not squelched my obsession with homes--it's amplified it. Now that I have a house, I want to learn all about houses. I want to look at pictures of houses and decor and color schemes and weird ways to create art out of recycled stuff (see photos of poems I painted and strapped to the side of the NapCastle) and hidden spaces and beds that pop out of walls (front porch Murphy bunk, anyone?). I recently listened to Bill Bryson read his latest book, At Home, in which he uses his own centuries-old English parsonageas a framework for exploring the history of human domesticity.

Traveling room by room through his own home, Bryson retraces the Western evolution of home-making, including in his typical style fascinating minutiae about how people have lived and why. I don't generally read history, but I love Bill Bryson and will listen to him read almost anything. The details in this book about food, cooking, bathing, sleeping, and every other aspect of life at home were absorbing and entertaining. They also gave me an even greater appreciation for things I take for granted, like plumbing, flapper light switches, and a bed that's not made out of dung. Now I also know why salt and pepper are standard table condiments, and my decades-long post-Amelia-Bedelia curiosity about what a "drawing room" is has been satiated.

It's easy to take for granted the simple amenities that add comfort and convenience to our lives--running water, telephones, live-in servants--while we're running around like crazyheads acummulating Wiis and iPads and 400-thread count sheets. Invention and innovation are amazing, and I, for one, can say I'm thankful I don't have to share an outhouse with my roommates. But ultimately, the things that make a home don't have as much to do with the inanimate stuff as with the living creatures inside. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. But Jesus, do I have a lot of throw pillows.

Also on the home front (-10 points for bad pun), I also read Meghan Daum's book about seeking and purchasing her first house, Life Would Be Perfect if I Lived in that House. Daum's search for a home coincides with her realization that she might not marry and have a husband, children, and a "traditional" life--all things I can relate to, which may be why her quest and subsequent success made me a little sad as I read. Nevertheless, I could relate to and appreciate her obsession with space. Like me, she has longed dreamed of a home of her own, and how that house will contribute to her definition of herself. Her insight into how space shapes self is intelligent and entertaining.

Because I do connect my space so intimately with my sense of self, I am always making mental ammendments to the NapCastle. I move artwork and rearrange furniture to match my moods and whims. I dream of additions where I can house more roommates, and outdoor patios where the sun shines EVERY DAY. It's not about having more stuff, or better stuff, or a bigger house--for me, it's about making the house I have even homier. I have THAT house, and life isn't perfect. But it's pretty amazing.

Hey! That's My Bike! And My Other Bike...and My Typewriter...and My Futon...and My Barbie Collection...

I don't have a huge aversion to cleaning house, although there are usually other things I'd rather be doing, like napping or reading or having a Modern Family marathon. Calculating the numer of Weight Watchers Points I'll earn by working up a sweat cleaning the hair out of the drain in the boys' bathroom never serves as adequate inspiration, so I've taken to watching episodes of Hoarders online. It's reassuring to know that I'm nowhere near pathological hoarding, and the filth in the houses they feature motivates me to keep ahead of the grime, even if I will never conquer the endless tumbleweeds of dog hair that seem to regenerate themselves every time I put the broom away.

There is some sensationalism to the TV program Hoarders, which focuses on two stories of hoarding per episode, complete with lots of footage of the hoarders' homes and lots of emotional moments wherein family members confront the hoarders or the hoarders work with therapists to confront their issues. In Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things, authors Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee examine the causes of hoarding, as well as the manifestations of the disorder and treatment. Like the TV show, the authors of Stuff use fascinating, bizarre case studies of real people to illustrate the ways the disorder presents itself. If you enjoy watching Hoaders, you'll enjoy reading more details about the way the disorder affects their lives.

I was intrigued by the statistics: between 2 and 5 % of the American population--about 6-15 MILLION people--suffer from some sort of hoarding disorder. That's a lot of very messy houses, whether they are stuffed with hoarded food, pets, or broken lawnmowers. And contrary to what some folks believe, hoarding doesn't just afflict people in places where there is an excess of consumerism or available products--hoarding has been found all over the globe. In addition, hoarding isn't determined by how much stuff a person has, but by how that stuff affects the quality of their lives. When it impairs one's ability to perform basic functions, it's considered pathological. In some of these cases, living conditions threaten the health of the hoarder and other occupants, and can even be deadly. One of the most famous hoarders in history, Langley Collyer, lived in squalor with his brother Homer for years (this despite their monetary wealth). Eventually, the extensive collection of junk (and numerous booby traps) led to both of their deaths.

Most of the scenarios on the TV show Hoarders end with some success--psychologists work with the hoarder and his or her family, 1-800-GOT-JUNK shows up with a cleaning team, and order is established. But as follow-ups on the TV show illustrate, hoarding is an extremely difficult disorder to treat, owing mainly to its deeply rooted causes, and the cases on TV rarely reflect the many years of continual therapy required for hoarders to escape their habits and live less cluttered lives.

This is among a number of intriguing books of applied psychology books I've read that I would recommend to others. It's highly readable, adn the individual cases of hoarding are fascinating, but their analysis goes beyong mere voyeurism and offers substantial insight into an affliction that has only recently begun to be revealed and examined.

A SUMMERy of Great Reads

It's possibly my imagination at work, but it seems as though whenever I go on a trip, I hear 80's music the whole time--in Puerto Vallarta, in stores and hotel lobbies in San Francisco, and most recently, during my stay at L'Auberge in Del Mar. Everytime we went to the pool, it was like traveling through a time tunnel, except for the part where I'm wearing a size 5 bikini and slathering my skin with baby oil.

I am in awe of writers who can write about effectively about music; most critics either use pretentious, indecipherable language that makes me feel dumb for not knowing what a "tangible, multi-riff liquid slide" is, or the descriptions are so juvenile and insipid that they tell me nothing about the music. Let's face it, telling me that Lady Gaga's new album "pushes boundaries" tells me nothing at all. Steve Almond, who I've previously written about, has a new book that turns music into memoir and manages to describe the past, and the present, of popular music in a way that is funny, nostalgic, unapologetic, and readable. In Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life, Almond assures us all that we're all free to love whatever goofy pop act we find ourselves tapping our feet to. "There us no sin in the realm of taste...you can't tell someone his or her ears are wrong. You can't rescind the pleasure they derive from a particular piece of music...there's no arguing with joy." Amen. (Sound of me cranking Styx on the iPod).

Peter Hedges (author of What's Eating Gilbert Grape) has written a far less funny, but no less absorbing, novel about the fragile ground that crumbles under couples when new and powerful third parties enter their lives in his novel, The Heights. A stable, happy couple in an upper-middle-class neighborhood finds their lives irrevocably altered when a woman moves in nearby and befriends them. Her wealth is only part of her mysterious allure--and both partners seek her attention and friendship, finding themselves questioning their relationship and their beliefs. Suspenseful domestic drama that twists and turns and makes you think about what it means to be committed.

Ravens by George Dawes Green will appeal to readers who liked House of Sand Fog. The Boatwright family wins a gigantic prize in the Georgia state lottery and is then terrorized by two grifters who seize the opportunity to hold them hostage and force them to split the money. Tense, action-packed, and darkly funny; a be-careful-what-you-wish-for scenario combined with a touch of In Cold Blood. I expect a movie with Mark Wahlberg and Toni Collette.

John McNally's novel After the Workshop is a terrifically fun read, combining the aggravations of work with a subtle mystery. Jack Hercules Sheahan, an MFA graduate working as an escort for authors visiting local bookshops, recounts the horrors of working with demanding prima donnas, stressed publicists, and a hilarious array of pompous university professors and adjuncts. When he loses track of a particularly challenging author, he juggles the ensuing drama with the complications of his ex-girlfriend, his chronically naked next-door neighbor, and a drunken formerly-famous author who has decided to camp out in his apartment. Smart, hilarious, and perfect for MFA grads or anyone who has worked in a job where they had to cater to the whims of of others. Oh, wait--that's pretty much everyone..,

Summer isn't technically over, but this is the best of what I read when the days were longer and the mornings warmer. Lots of new stuff to read next to the (fake) fall fire is piling up on my bedside table...

Big, Big, Big Love

One of my favorite TV programs, Big Love, focuses on the three households maintained by fictional polygamist Bill Henrickson, who practices the "Principle" of plural marriage with his three wives, Margene, Nicky, and Barb. If there's drama in a regular marriage, it's obviously multiplied when numerous women share the same man, which is part of what make Big Love so doable--the storylines that arise from the multiple marriages are only one layer of the drama. Religious in-fighting, secrecy, and loads of other potential problems await the characters and lend themselves to endless plotlines.

The same is true in Brady Udall's novel The Lonely Polygamist--Golden Richards, a man with four wives and twenty-eight children, struggles financially and morally to keep his life from falling apart. Away from his homes on a construction job, he meets and falls in love with a quiet, child-free woman who offers him respite from the complications of his marriages and children, but that relationship (like all of them) does less to alleviate his frustrations than it does increase them--and given who the woman is married to, Golden's love for her puts his family in jeopardy. His liaison with her puts him not only in moral peril, but physical danger.

But his family is falling apart anyway. His most fragile wife, Rose-of-Sharon, has recently been hospitalized with a nervous breakdown; his first wife Beverly fights constantly to maintain her control over the household and the other women, and his fourth wife, Trish, finds herself alone and lonely during Golden's absences, and contemplates a tryst of her own. The most endearing character in the book is the one whose problems also spiral out of control and yet also lead to the resolution--however heartbreaking--of this amazing book. Eleven-year-old Rusty reminded me of the character in "The Ransom of Red Chief." Neglected amidst the chaos of his home, Rusty seeks entertainment wherever he can, primarily by sneaking out of the house and riding his bike around town and plotting ways to get his father to pay more attention to him. Unfortunately, in this regard, he eventually succeeds.

Polygamy? Not a fan. It's unfair to women and children, complicated, and disastrous in terms of the long-term well-being of families (what happens if the sole provider dies?) Besides the major issues, it's impractical and likely to be unmanageable and miserable on a daily basis. Regardless, watching Big Love and reading The Lonely Polygamist (even though they are fictional) gives me a little more understanding of how and why people choose this lifestyle. "...this after all, was the basic truth they all chose to live by: that love was no infinite commodity. That it was not subject to the cruel reckoning of addition and subtraction, that to give to one did not necessarily mean to take from another; that the heart, in its infinite capacity could open itself to all who would enter, like a house with windows and doors thrown wide, like the heart of God itself, vast and accommodating and holy, a mansion of rooms without number, full of multitudes without end."

This is the best novel I've read in 2010--multi-layered, often very funny, beautifully written, and insightful. No matter how many people you live with or love, there is likely to be a piece of your truth in these pages, and even if there isn't, Golden's story of the perpetual quest to define to define oneself internally and to the world at large is unforgettable.