I Was Told There Would Be No Math

A friend asked me recently how many hours a week I spend reading--this after a visit to my upstairs bathroom/library--and I approximated that I read about 10 hours a week. Afterward, I realized that I might have exaggerated--10 hours is over an hour a day--but then I thought about a typical day's reading: twenty minutes in the morning while I drink coffee and procrastinate about exercising; 20-30 minutes at work; and then I fall asleep each night after 20-30 minutes of bedtime reading.

Of the time I spend reading, about two-thirds is devoted to non-fiction, which is a dramatic reversal from just 10 years ago, when I read fiction almost exclusively. I credit the change to the rise in popularity and quality of memoirs, as well as the range of fascinating topics being approached by entertaining, funny writers like Sarah Vowell, Mary Roach, and Malcom Gladwell.

I still read fiction,of course, although I try to avoid the bestsellers since one of my purposes as a reader is to discover, read, and recommend books that others (especially my students) might not find or hear about on their own. Hence my excuse for not reading most of the Harry Potters or any of the Twilight books.

Anita Shreve is pretty well known, since her books have been picked by Oprah and made into movies. Nevertheless, she also writes about my favorite topics: disappearances and scandal! And her new novel, Testimony, is no exception. At an elite private boarding school, a scandal erupts when a videotape surfaces of a group of students having sex in a campus dorm room.

As the story of the night on tape unfolds, it becomes clear that there is more to the events in question than a group of drunk teenagers with access to a video camera. Told from the various perspectives of characters involved in or affected by the events in question, this story is gripping and highly readable, even as it is disturbing--not just because of what the teens themselves did, but because of how the adults in their lives are culpable for what they did and what happened afterward.

Fast-paced fiction of the kind Shreve is known for (The Pilot's Wife, The Last Time They Met, Eden Close) appeals to me not just for the escapist, entertaining value of it, but because contemporary fiction like Testimony keeps us in touch with the cultural zeitgeist. (And yes, I wrote that so I could use the word zeitgeist.) I think that's worth a few minutes a day.

Oh! Haveth Ye a Happy Day

I was born on Thanksgiving Day just over twenty years ago, and so the holiday has always been my favorite, despite the inevitable awkwardness of partisan politics and the looming fright of my mother’s jello mold salad. Although I don’t read much about history, I make an exception for books about the Pilgrims, turkey, and sea-tossed religious persecuties making their way to a new life. Also, how cool is it that the Massacusetts pilgrims designed a state seal with a naked guy on it?!?!

This year’s Birthday Book is Sarah Vowell's newest work of historical humor, The Wordy Shipmates, her personalized investigation into the lives, government, and bickering of the Massachusetts Bay Colony Puritans, in particular John Winthrop, Roger Williams, and Anne Hutchinson. Before you nod off, remember this isn't any old history writer we're talking about here--it's Sarah Vowell, who time and again accomplishes the admirable Readability Trifecta of Smart/Funny/Unforgettable.

Vowell, an avowed “history geek,” has written previously about presidential assassination (Assassination Vacation) and myriad other topics of (mostly) American history (The Partly Cloudy Patriot). As in her previous works, the strength of The Wordy Shipmates is in her ability to find personal connections between those long gone and her own life and to comment on the past through the skeptical and witty lens of the present. She also has a knack for weaving in historical details that most of us would never encounter, unless we, too, spent hours combing through primary documents, and discovered events like The Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Perhaps the best thing Vowell does for history in The Wordy Shipmates is humanize the lives and words of forebearers we might otherwise recall only in passing, as the part of Early U.S. History 101 where the cranky people with all the rules spoiled the fun for their neighbors. The Puritans were much more literary and intellectual than most of realize, and their ideas are worthy of our reconsideration. Delicious food for thought!

The Book I Was Going to Review

My friend Cameron and I recently began the Hundred Push-Up Challenge (a 6-week program that gradually increases your push-up max to one hundred consecutive p-u's) so I thought it would be interesting to read more about push-ups. Surprisingly, there is actually a book about push-ups, and sadly, I spent almost $20 and three hours on it.

When I began writing this blog, my intent was to review books that I recommend for other people, you know to enrich the lives of all who know me, blah blah blah. It was not my plan to read and review books that suck eggs.


However, after having wasted my time and money on this book, I think it's worth writing about just to clarify my criteria for recommendations: that is, what makes a book so good you want to cradle it in your arms everywhere you go, and what makes a book so bad you want to scoop it and chuck it like a dog turd into the yard of those neighbors who are always running their leaf blower while you're trying to take a nap?

Books Like Turds
I was intrigued by Ted Krup's book because hey! another exercise guru with something to teach me. I thought maybe his narrative would offer some suggestions about improving my push-up workouts, varying my technique, and how to maximize the effect of push-ups on my other sporting endeavors. But no. Krup's book is entirely about his personal exercise program, which consists entirely of doing push-ups: ONE THOUSAND A DAY EVERY DAY. As impressive as this, it's also ridiculous to advocate that anyone interrupt their life 10 times a day so they can do 100 push-ups. When would they have time for beer connaisseurship and dog training?

Using way more exclamation points than are necessary, Krup touts the benefits of push-ups, including awesome arms and shoulders, a tighter core, efficiency and affordability, weight management, and low risk of injury. He also claims they are "fun" and "addictive." Um, ok. But even though he creates an enthusiastic and positive case for his personal workout, he fails to acknowledge that most people don't follow this same regimen because a) they're not crazy and b) most of us actually enjoy, say, working out with friends, competing in races, and doing exercises that don't require us to lay on the floor with our faces six inches from whatever the dog brought in on her feet (shown here totally owning my reading chair).

Krup provides personalization--his own story--but doesn't offer any other examples of people who've attempted and enjoyed his program. Anecdotes connect readers to content, provide motivation, and help them see thewriter as a likeable person who is not just totally obsessed with his own wonderfulness. Even though I am convinced that Krup is a fit individual, and that this program enriches his life, and that push-ups are an awesome work out, he fails to provide any solid research or documentation, and the result is that he comes across as unpolished, under-informed, and self-obsessed. There. I got that off my chest. I'm going back to the other book I was reading, the one that doesn't suck.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Among my responsibilities here at the high school (besides inspiring the young people of America and enforcing a strict No Ninja-Kicking policy) is serving as the advisor-elect of the under-construction GSA (a.k.a. Gay Straight Alliance). I don't know what my responsibilities are besides signing off on purchase order for rainbow t-shirts and making the library available for after-school meetings, but it's an honor to have been asked to take on the job, a position I may have been chosen for simply on the basis of my leather jacket.


Seriously, though, I'm assuming that the students who asked me to advise them did so because I maintain a gay-friendly collection in the library, adding books that address all sorts of relationships and complications that teenagers face. There is a TON of excellent young adult fiction available about gay characters--and it's not all After School Special-y "this is how I dealt with being gay" stuff. Much of it is about kids living through other issues--regular problems with parents, teachers, alien life forms, etc.--and they just happen to be gay.


The Screwed Up Life of Charlie the Second by Drew Ferguson is about being gay and surviving high school, but it isn't a "problem" novel. It also is not, alas, a Young Adult novel, and despite its incredibly funny, wise voice, lovable main character, and sweet love story, it won't be going in my library because it also contains quite a bit of explicitly explicit sex. Censorship? Maybe. I like to call it self-preservation. You wanna fight for Charlie, you come on down to farm country and argue the merits of the multiple naked guy-guy wrestling scenes to members of a community who just erected a giant "silo" in their new roundabout.


Charlie, who is tormented by his father, First, is pretty resilient and upbeat despite the odds, and when he falls in love with his soccer teammate Rob, his life gets immeasurably better, despite the initial, universal roller-coaster of he's cute-does he like me-he does-he doesn't-oh my god-he might that it takes for them to get together (territory we'll all recognize...some of us as a distant junior-high memory, others of us as, well, yesterday).

But Rob's mother's slow deterioration from ALS, Charlie's parents' marital troubles, and his teammates' harrassment and squeamishness complicate what might otherwise be a charmed coming-of-age for Charlie. Of course, without complications, there is no story. The beauty of any story, well-told, is that the particulars of those characters' complications are, nevertheless, universal. We meet. We are attracted. We wonder if it's mutual. We test the waters. We find out. We go swimming. We win the triathlon. Or we drown. Or, like Charlie, we finish somewhere in the middle of the pack--wet, with sore muscles, but a little bit of new knowledge we can apply to the the next race we enter.

Getting 'Er Done

The Myth of Multitasking: How “Doing it All” Gets Nothing Done. © 2008 by Dave Crenshaw.

Perhaps you’ve asked yourself, “Hey, what should I do now that I’ve been awakened at 2 a.m. by my sick dog and I’ve got all the barf cleaned up and now have insomnia?” Such was the question I asked my own self on Friday night after taking care of the residue Frida left on the floor after consuming what looked to be a plastic water bottle, part of a foam ball, and a significant portion of the cat’s food. Oh, the glamour of dog-momming.

So, in the hour that I lay awake, I read Dave Crenshaw’s short book, The Myth of Multitasking, which was completely doable, since it’s only 138 pages long and told as a parable (think Who Stole My Cheese; The One-Minute Manager, etc.).


The story illustrates Crenshaw’s position that multitasking is, for all its hype, an inefficient way to attempt tasks, run businesses, and relate to people. In fact, he argues, multi-tasking damages productivity and destroys relationships. We think we can do multiple things at one time, but in truth, we cannot, and what we call “multi-tasking” is actually “switch-tasking”—the process of constantly shifting our focus from one activity to another. Most switch-tasking occurs as we attempt to manage interruptions—phone calls, emails, IMs, people visiting our offices, dogs barfing when we're trying to sleep. All of this adds up to a huge loss in productivity—as much as 28% of the work day for the average person.

More important than the loss in productivity, however, is the damage that switch-tasking does to our relationships. (Ever been with someone who's texting while you're at the dinner table? Feels warm and cozy, huh?) “The people we live with and work with on a daily basis deserve our full attention,” Crenshaw writes. “When we give people segmented attention, piecemeal time, switching back and forth, the switching cost is higher than just the time involved. We end up damaging relationships.”

We’ve been led to believe that we can accomplish multiple tasks at a time, that it is better or more efficient to do many things at once, and that in order to stay on top of our many obligations, we must multi-task. Not so, Crenshaw argues. “No matter how effective you are at switch-tasking, you are still working less efficiently…you are going to take longer to get things done than the person who focuses on one attention-requiring activity at a time.” A simple experiment helps demonstrate this point, and Crenshaw includes additional worksheets and tips for making better use of your time...all day long, not just in the middle of the night.

Friday Night Lights Meets The Last Picture Show and They Get Really Wasted

My top five favorite current living writers in no particular order:
1. David Sedaris
2. Sarah Vowell
3. Steve Almond
4. Mary Roach
5. Dan Savage
These writers qualify because at any given time, if anyone of them publishes a new book, I will stop whatever I’m doing to purchase and read said publication, regardless of whether or not I’m reading something else or in the middle of towel-drying my dog.

Chuck Klosterman and Sarah Vowell are the two who’ve published most recently, and so I stopped everything I was doing (for the record, I was raking a small portion of the approximately 457 billion leaves that have accumulated in my front yard) and bought the Klosterman book and have been unable to anything productive for the last three days because I have been devouring it.

Downtown Owl follows three characters through the winter of 1984 as they pursue their lives in the teeny, tiny Owl, North Dakota. Mitch Hrlicka is a high school senior, a sometime-quarterback, who has his hate on for his football coach, who is certain has been inappropriate and unethical with some of his female students. Julia Rabia is new to town—a twenty-three year old history teacher who takes a job in rural Owl to get some work experience. She is befriended by Naomi, an older teacher, and the two of them end up bar-hopping nightly. Horace Jones is 73, drinks coffee daily with a group of other old Owl residents, and understands the truth clearly.

Through these three characters, we learn the history of Owl, its scandals past and present, and much about small-town 1980s culture. I liked this book for many, many reasons, but I loved it for passages like this:

"'Why do we get out of bed?' Mitch wondered. 'Is there any feeling any better that being in bed? What could possibly feel better than this? What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?' Every day, Mitch woke to this line of reasoning: Every day, the first move he made outside his sheets immediately destroyed the only flawless part of his existence."

And the best thing about it, as the reviewer for Entertainment Weekly wrote, is that it reads exactly like a Chuck Klosterman book--which is absolutely the perfect sentiment and just the right hook to grab a fan like me (and yes, that is a Scooby-Doo band-aid on my chin).

Very Naughty Things

Inspired by an early morning encounter at the gym (thanks, David and Dan!) I'm resurrecting my book-of-the-week correspondence with friends. In the olden days, I just emailed, but now I'm higher-teching it with a blog, hoping to replace my now-finished Building Blog and my all-but-abandoned Hollywood Blog, She Gives Good Story. Stay tuned, and if I burn out on the books, I haven't run out of b-blogging ideas, such as Belben's Berner Blog, body blog, biking blog, b-and-b blog, and blah blah blog.

This week's book recommendation, Vice: Very Naughty Things (And How to Do Them) is one of those that I read for my own personal pleasure but wouldn't add to my high school library even though I know it would be really popular with the kids, given that it deals with swinging, stripping, gambling, conspicuous consumption, lying, and cheating.

Author Peter Sagal, an NPR host, explores the seedy underbelly of not-illegal but still NSFW topics that I think secretly lots of people would like to know more about without, you know, actual experimentation. Sagal's examinations of such places as the Swingers Shack and his visit to a porn-movie set are intelligent, witty, and often very, very funny. Instead of a scientific, sociological or even tongue-in-cheek look at the activities he describes, Sagal personalizes each of his segments and humanizes people we might otherwise judge a little more harshly.